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How to word a wedding invitation

6 min read

Invitation wording is a small piece of writing with a lot of expectation attached. The good news is that it follows a shape, and once you can see the shape you can bend it as far as you like.

The five lines every invitation has

Almost every wedding invitation, formal or not, says the same five things in the same order: who is hosting, the request itself, who is marrying whom, when, and where. Everything else is decoration.

Formally: "Mr and Mrs David Cohen request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter Dana to Amir Levi, on Saturday the twelfth of October, two thousand and thirty, at four o'clock, at the Orangery, Limassol." Casually: "Dana and Amir are getting married. Come and celebrate. 12 October, 4pm, the Orangery, Limassol." Same five lines.

Who hosts, and why it decides the first line

The host is whoever is inviting, which traditionally meant whoever paid. If the bride's parents host, the invitation opens with their names. If both families do, both are named. If the couple hosts, the first line is theirs: "Together with their families, Dana and Amir invite you..."

This is the line that causes the most family friction and the least guest confusion. Nobody at the wedding will remember it. Choose the version that keeps the peace and move on.

Formality is set by the words, not the paper

Spelling out dates and times reads formal: "Saturday, the twelfth of October, two thousand and thirty, at half after four in the afternoon." Numerals read modern: "Saturday 12 October 2030, 4.30pm." Pick one register and hold it across the whole card. A formal request followed by "see you there!" reads like two people wrote it.

British and American conventions differ on small things, dates especially. Consistency matters more than which convention you choose.

What to leave off

Registry details do not belong on the invitation. Neither does "no children", which is better handled by addressing the invitation to named guests and answering questions as they come. Dress code is optional and best kept to two words: black tie, garden party, come as you are.

Adult-only weddings are the most common wording trap. The invitation says who is invited by naming them; if you have to spell out a rule, put it on the website or the RSVP page rather than the card itself.

Second marriages, blended families, and every other real situation

Etiquette guides are written for a family shape that does not always exist. The principle underneath them still works: name the people doing the inviting, name the people getting married, and be clear about when and where.

If a parent has died, "the late" is traditional but heavy; many couples name them in the ceremony instead. If divorced parents both host, list them on separate lines. If nobody is hosting in the formal sense, use "Together with their families" and stop worrying about it.

Wording the RSVP

The RSVP line used to carry a date and an address. Now it carries a date and a link. Keep the date early enough to be useful, which usually means four to six weeks before the day, and make it obvious what happens next: "Kindly reply by 14 September" above the link.

If you are asking for more than yes or no, do not put it on the card. Meals, allergies, songs and travel belong on the page the link opens, where guests answer once and you get the answers counted.

Collect the answers while you are at it

MyEventOS turns the invitation, the RSVP and the guest list into one link, and counts the replies as they land. Free to design, free to send, and the first ten replies are included.

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Questions people ask

Do we have to spell out the numbers?+

Only if you want the formal register. Spelled-out dates and times read traditional; numerals read contemporary. Both are correct, and mixing them is the only real mistake.

How do we say no children politely?+

Address the invitation to the people invited, by name, and let that do the work. If someone asks, answer directly and warmly. A rule printed on the card reads colder than the same words said to one person.

When should the RSVP date be?+

Four to six weeks before the wedding, and at least a week before the venue needs your final numbers. Later than that and you are chasing people while doing everything else.