When to send save the dates and wedding invitations
4 min read
Timing an invitation means working backwards from the day: from the date your caterer needs numbers, to the reply deadline, to the day the invitation goes out, and further back to the save the date. Get the order right and the dates mostly choose themselves.
Start from the caterer's deadline
The one fixed date in all of this is the day your venue or caterer needs final numbers, usually two to three weeks before the wedding. Your reply deadline falls a week or so before that, so there is time to chase anyone who has not answered. Everything else counts back from there.
Save the dates: six to eight months ahead
A save the date asks guests to keep the day free before you have the details. Six to eight months ahead is usual for a wedding close to home. For a destination wedding, or one on a holiday weekend, send them nine to twelve months ahead: guests need to book leave, flights and somewhere to stay, and the best rooms go first.
Send them only to people you are certain to invite. A save the date is a promise, and there is no gracious way to take one back.
Invitations: eight to ten weeks ahead
The invitation itself goes out about eight weeks before the day, ten to twelve for a destination wedding, where it also carries travel details people need to act on. Much earlier and it is forgotten; much later and people have made other plans.
The reply deadline: three to four weeks before
Ask for replies three to four weeks before the wedding. That leaves a week to chase the missing answers and still give the caterer final numbers on time.
Write the deadline as a date rather than as a distance: "Kindly reply by 14 May", not "four weeks before the wedding". Nobody counts backwards on your behalf.
Reminders, and what changes when it is digital
A reminder a week before the deadline brings in most of the missing replies. With paper invitations that means phone calls; with a digital one, a short message to the guests who have not answered, which a guest list can pick out for you.
A digital invitation also loosens the order a little. It can be updated after it has gone out, so a menu or an after-party that is not settled yet is no reason to send late: send on time and add it when you know. What does not change is the courtesy of giving people enough notice.
The timeline on one page
- Twelve to nine months before: save the dates, for a destination wedding.
- Eight to six months before: save the dates, for a wedding close to home.
- Ten to eight weeks before: the invitations.
- A week before the reply deadline: a reminder to everyone who has not answered.
- Four to three weeks before: the reply deadline.
- Three to two weeks before: final numbers to the venue.
Collect the answers while you are at it
MyEventOS turns the invitation, the RSVP and the guest list into one link, and counts the replies as they land. Free to design, free to send, and the first ten replies are included.
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