Is it rude to invite some guests to the evening only?

No. It is common, and most guests understand that venues and budgets have limits. What matters is that evening guests are invited properly, welcomed, and not made to feel second.

Should evening guests get a save the date?

If you are sending save the dates, yes, at the same time as everyone else. It is part of being treated as a guest.

Do evening guests bring a gift?

It is up to them. Many bring a card or a small gift; none should feel they must. If you have a gift list, it can be on their invitation too.

When should evening invitations be sent?

At the same time as the day invitations, usually eight to ten weeks before the wedding.

Evening reception invitation wording, for the guests who join after the ceremony

17 Oct 20265 min read

An evening invitation in gold on deep blue mosaic, asking guests to join Niamh and Daniel from half past seven, beside two glasses of champagne — Pictured: Mosaic, one of our invitation designs

Many weddings, in Britain and Ireland especially, have two guest lists: the day guests, who see the vows and the dinner, and the evening guests, who arrive for the party. An evening invitation has one job above the others: to make the second list feel like guests, not overflow.

What an evening invitation says

The same five lines as any invitation, with two changes. The request is to the evening reception, or simply to an evening of celebration, and the time is the time to arrive, not the time of the ceremony.

Say plainly that it is the evening. A guest who is not sure turns up at two o'clock in a church they were never invited to, and both of you feel it.

Wording examples

Formal, parents hosting: "Mr and Mrs James Walsh request the pleasure of your company at an evening reception to celebrate the marriage of their daughter Niamh to Daniel Byrne, on Saturday the fourteenth of June, from half past seven, at Ballymore House."
The couple hosting: "Niamh and Daniel invite you to join them for an evening of celebration on the day of their wedding, Saturday 14 June, from 7.30pm, at Ballymore House."
Relaxed: "We're getting married! Come and dance with us from 7.30pm on Saturday 14 June at Ballymore House."
After a small ceremony: "Having married in a small ceremony with their families, Niamh and Daniel invite you to celebrate with them on Saturday 14 June, from 7.30pm."

Which time to give

Give the time you want them through the door, which is usually a little before the first dance or the cake, and never in the middle of the speeches. Evening guests walking in while the best man is mid-story is the classic mistake.

Say whether there is food. "Evening food from 9pm" tells a guest whether to eat before they come. An end time is optional, and "Carriages at midnight" still does it politely.

Making evening guests feel welcome

Send the same design, at the same time as the day invitations
Plan something for them to arrive to: the first dance, the cake
Have a drink waiting when they come in
Greet them yourselves, even briefly

Don't

Write "evening guest" anywhere on the invitation
Have them arrive to the end of a dinner they were not at
Send their invitations weeks after everyone else's
Leave them to find out the dress code from the day guests

Two lists, no mix-ups

Keep the day list and the evening list apart from the start, and check every name before sending. One evening guest who receives the day invitation by mistake causes more hurt than the whole evening list put together, and there is no easy way back from it.

Ask the evening guests only what the evening needs. They do not choose a main course; at most they tell you whether they eat the evening food and if anything should be kept away from them.

Collect the answers while you are at it

MyEventOS turns the invitation, the RSVP and the guest list into one link, and counts the replies as they land. Free to design, free to send, and the first ten replies are included.

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