Wedding thank you card wording, with examples for every kind of gift

A thank you note that lands has four parts, and they fit in five sentences: the person's name, the gift by name, what you will do with it or what it meant, a word about them being there, and a warm close.

"Thank you for your lovely gift" is the sentence every guest has read a hundred times. "Thank you for the blue serving bowl, it has already held a summer's worth of salads" is the one they remember. The gift by name is the whole difference.

• "Dear Anna and Marco, thank you so much for the dinner set. We used it for the first time last weekend, with friends round, and thought of you both. It meant so much to have you with us in Paphos, and we will not forget your dancing. With love, Katerina and Nikos."
• "Dear Aunt Helen, thank you for the linen. It is already on the bed, and it is the softest thing we own. Thank you for making the journey, and for the speech at dinner that had everyone in tears. Love, Sam and Priya."

Say something true about the gift, even a small thing. If you have not used it yet, say how you will.

Thank the guest for their generosity and say what it is going towards. Never name the amount.

• "Dear Kostas and Maria, thank you for your generous gift. It is going straight into our honeymoon fund, and we will raise a glass to you both in Lisbon."
• "Dear Daniel, thank you so much for your kind gift. We are putting it towards a table for the new flat, the one we will finally all fit round. Come and eat at it soon."
• "Dear Grandpa, thank you for your very generous gift. We are saving it for our first home, and every time we walk through the door we will think of you."

Some thanks are not for a gift at all. A guest who flew from another continent, a friend who did the flowers at six in the morning, a cousin who drove the grandparents: each deserves a line of their own.

• "Dear Mia, thank you for flying all the way from Toronto to be with us. Seeing you at the back of the chapel was one of the best moments of the day."
• "Dear Eleni, we cannot thank you enough for the flowers. Everyone asked who did them, and we told them all. The day would not have looked like itself without you."
• "Dear Mum and Dad, thank you for everything, from the first phone call to the last dance. We could not have done any of it without you."

A gift from someone who was not there needs the same thanks, with a line that misses them rather than one that describes a day they did not see.

"Dear Mr and Mrs Shah, thank you for the beautiful frame and your kind words. We missed you on the day, and we will send you a photograph to put in it."

The usual guidance is within three months of the wedding, and within a couple of weeks for gifts that arrive before it. Late is better than never: a note six months on is still a note.

The way couples actually finish them is a few a day rather than all in one weekend. Keep one list with three columns, the guest, the gift and a tick for the card, and work down it. If your replies were collected online, start from that list: on MyEventOS the guest table downloads as a spreadsheet, so the names are already there.